How You Will Get Rid Of Breakup Pain - Task4B2B

"I just can't accept this. Were all the dreams,all the promises fake?" 

These types of thoughts may come in our minds first after breakup. Scientifically it is proven that physical pain activates that part which is also activated by emotional pain in our brains. That means to our brain these two types of pain-physical and mental are equal. 

It is known from experiments that emotional pain increases the rate of secretion of the stress hormones, that is cortisol hormone. So, now you can understand easily that breakups or any other emotional pains is as same as physical pain. 

To cure physical pain, there are many things like bandage, injection etc.

But which medicine will heal emotional pain? 

This emotional pain is so intense.

So today in this post i will share how you will get rid of REAKUP pain. 

If you want any permanent solution which is really helpful, read this post till the end. Because i believe if you watch this post till the end with concentration, you will get any solution of your problem. So lets start.

 Smart Idea #1:Everything happens for good.

Steve jobs in his Strand ford commencement speech made a comment on "connecting the dots". There he told that he beloved, if we express every experience of our life with a dot, we can not connect that dot with other dots looking at the future.

 But after some time, we can connect all the dots with the dots of our past. And then we can realize  that it was good what happened in the past. We cannot reach at the present situation if that incident have not happened in the past. So what happens, happens for good. 

You have to believe this from your mind. It will be wrong if we call it "believe". You have to know that this is right because its not an imagination. This is reality. I am sure that you had experiences in your life when you were hurt at the time of the incident or you thought why such a bad incident happened to you.

 But if you look back now, you will realize that something good has happened today in your life for that incident. And this is true not only in your life, but also in everyone's life. 

You may be suffering for a breakup now but it can be said with guarantee that you will think yourself lucky for this breakup in future. And this is not a theory, this is fact. 

What happens, happens for good. We may not see the good things of a incident at that time but after sometime it becomes clear like morning rays. 

Smart Idea 2: We Generally State Our Mind As "I".

Our mind is nothing but just a place where many memories which we collect since our birth with the help of our 5 sense organs, are kept together . Among theses 5 senses, ever lasting memory is created by those senses which helps to see and touch.

 For this reason after breakup, it becomes difficult to forget those memories. Because there are many such memories created on the very feeling of seeing and touching . Again, we have to understand one thing.

 A human being who may be your gf or bf or father or mother is just nothing but some memories in your mind. So, if there is no memory related to one person, then there is no trace of that person in reality to us. 

When do we say that we know this man? 

When some memories related to that man remains in our brain. Again, who do make these memories? We make these on our own. That means, you are the creator. You have understand this that a person is nothing but just a bundle of memories.

Now the main topic comes.

Can we just erase a memory totally if we want? 

No. We cant erase permanently but we can control the intensity of a memory if we want. 

How is that possible? 

Now see. You can learn by heart a formula in mathematics.

But can you just remember it for your whole life? 

When and what will you do so that you can forget it?

When you will not practice that for many days. It means that you will not see or read or think about that for a second time for many days. 

Then you will forget that with passing time. This means you will forget that when the intensity of that memory will become very low. But after breakup we just do the process opposite to this. We just think about that person whole day. 

How could he do that? 

Why did he do that? 

We think about these things which do nothing but increase the intensity of their memories. And for this, it becomes hard day by day for forget him. 

"But what will i do? 

We do not want to think but the thoughts come in our mind many Times." 

Then what is the solution?

 I will share the solution in 4 steps. 1st step- Accept At first we cannot just accept the fact that breakup has happened really. Mind does not want to believe. As for not accepting the situation from inside, we just think about many things to make the situation like previous. " if it's not like that, if he just understand this" , at first, we just don't want to accept that it is true, it is reality . 

We want to change that from inside. It is a big mistake. You have to accept first that this has happened really and this is the biggest truth of your life. If you want you can cry loud once closing the the doors and windows.

 Crying is a good thing. And its for both boys and girls. it is a misconception that it is shameful for a boy to cry. It will really help you the most to accept the fact. 2nd step: funeral There is no difference between death and breakup. In case of death, a human body dies and in case of breakup, death of a relationship happens. 

How to do funeral of a relationship? 

First, no contact. Block every possible way by whom you can contact, block every possible links in WhatsApp, fb,email,mobile. Or you can change those things. Secondly, ignore or remove those things involved with his memory. You may have a lot of memories involving a place. 

So you must stop going to that place. Or you have memory involving some gifts or picture given by your lover. You have to burn those things together as same as a dead body is burned or buried after death. Or you can also donate those things in charity. 

If there are such things which may remind you of the memories related to that person then the intensity of those memories will increase and it become hard day by day to forget. 3rd step- get busy Our mind cannot remember two things at a time. 

At this moment, if you think about football, then you will not be able to think about cricket exactly at this moment. You have to transmigrate from one thing to another. But you cannot think about multiple things at a time. 

So you have to make yourself busy with such things about which you love to think or things which interests you. And this will be possible by involving yourself in a work which you love to do. Maybe that work is cooking or painting or hanging out with friends. 

4th and final step-get into a similar or better relationship.

After breakup, most people make a big mistake that they start disbelieving love. This is just like this. You take everybody as a thief when a thief has been caught in a country. It is meaningless. 

Maybe 80% people of that country are thieves. But remaining 20% people must be good people. Maybe you have been cheated by one person, and from it you have gained more experience.

 If you use this experience, you can examine a new person if he is good or bad. You have to use that experience. Maybe you have been cheated again. But the experience will increase a little bit more.

 If you learn something again from that, your experience will become so big that you will able to tell a person good or bad just after looking at him. 

But after getting cheated for 2 or 3 times, if you delete your whole belief and if you think everybody is a thief, that will be utter foolishness. 

Because that can never be true. If you are able to enter in a similar or better relationship, you can come out of that relationship effortlessly without any pain. 

But condition is that it has to be similar or better. you have to understand this first using your experience or it will be very bad.

Smart Idea 3: Where There Is Love

there is no attachment Now after hearing so many things, you may think that you loved her from the core of your heart and it is impossible for you to enter into a new relationship. 

Maybe the reason is that his love was just false but your love was 100% pure . In that case i will remind you a dialogue from the film "jazbaa" in which Irfan khan acted. "Mohabaat hai iss liye jane diya,zidd hoti toh bahon mein hoti". 

If love is 100% true, then there is no place for attachment. Because in that time, expectation becomes 0. I will give you a example. Today you have a phone that costs 10000 rupees. 

Its a new phone. You use it very carefully. Any damage of the phone is just a nightmare to you. We say that we love the phone very much. 

Now when this phone becomes old, you may buy a new phone that costs 50000 rupees. From that day, looking at the phone which costs 10000 rupees, will decrease. 

You used to keep the phone on the bed. Now the phone is placed even on floor carelessly. Now the love has gone from this phone to that new phone. Here we use the word "love".

 Its a big mistake. Because these are not called love, these are called attachments where there are conditions and demands. But love is unconditional. There are no demands.

 Love cannot hurt, because there is nothing to expect. Attachments hurt because they are filled with conditions, demands and expectations. 

So if you are getting hurt continuously after breakup, then that means that it was just an attachment, it was not love which you misinterpreted to be. 

You may replace that if you want just like that phone. Famous man dr.seuss once told,

" dont cry because its over,smile because it happened!'

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